I am very nautical. I make overlong about me's. I dream in movies. I have tasted the purple Kool Aid and seen the light. I use big words quite often, in substitution, for semantically equivalent words. I am capable of parenthetically commenting on astericked items. I tend to tell the truth such that it seems I'm lying. I am married and have the word pussy on my profile. I have the epic battle of dragon and wizard on a mountaintop castle tattooed on my side as far as you know. I have used fuck as a Christmas card salutation. I narrate expressions instead of emoticonning when on IM. I only speak in Fighter because we don't *talk* to helicopters. I drink orange juice directly from the carton and order Newcastle in irish pubs. I like accusing people of bollocks and not letting go of it. If you do not get my movie references I will not vexate, I will recriminate. I give good foot massages and back rubs but then pull hair and give tummy nuzzles. I have driven 4 hours to go see a movie and into another state to get pizza. I could never smoke pot because I don't like Creedence Clearwater Revival and I could never do coke because I don't like Interpol. I have tried to breakdance in a 500 dollar uniform. The Awe Inspiring Majesty of Rock makes me a hazard to navigation. I have never been rolled by a transvestite prostitute. I first discovered I was better with mothers than daughers; later, I was inexplicably attractive to kindergarten teachers. I have been booted from eHarmony and been bested in 5am airline seat coke bottle swordplay. My wife wins at coke bottle explosion and microwaveable plastic themed conversational jabs and thrusts. People frequently ask me if I'm on methamphetamines. My sobriety level is difficult to assess even by my own sister. I am not fond of theoretical anger. I don't like low rise jeans, keyhole shirts and crimpy tops. Single shoulder shirts are right out. I will not use the word zeitgeist. My typing only serves to make my poor grammar and spelling worse. Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten, but I don't like kittens. I like to eat. So when you cook you will feel really good about yourself because, even though I won't help, I will eat a lot of what you cook. And then I will hunger still, but not for food. Wind will blow through my hair. Sweet nothings will be applied. There will be swooning. I will nod confidently. There will be no TPS reports. With a bit of luck, your life will be ruined forever. Or not. At the very least the exact opposite of this. Sometimes they are not handily distinguishable. Yes.
Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, Boondock Saints, Unforgiven, AoD, Evil Dead II, The Sting, A League of Their Own, The Sandlot, The Blues Brothers, Snatch, Adaptation, Toy Story 2, Dead Poets Society, Die Hard, Shakespeare in Love, The Goonies, Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Dog Soldiers, Alien(s), T2, The Ring, The Abyss, 28 Days Later, Clerks, A Bronx Tale, An American Tail, All Dogs Go to Heaven, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Cube, The Secret of NIMH, Dawn of the Dead (old and new), Royal Tanenbaums, Rushmore, Monty Python's Meaning of Life, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Its A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Secretary, Anchorman, The Princess Bride, Jaws, Mononoke Hime, Jackass, Shaolin Soccer, Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust, A Christmas Story, Glory, Rodger Dodger, Falling Down, Donnie Darko, Kill Bill I & II, Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, Last of the Mohicans, The Big Lebowski, The Matrix, Hustle and Flow, Team America: World Police, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Jackie Brown, True Romance, Ocean's 12, Master and Commander, Raiders of the Lost Arc, The Aviator, Sideways, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Romeo and Juilet, Dr. Strangelove, Porky's, Some Like it Hot, Empire of the Sun, Fight Club, Se7en, Requiem for a Dream, Never Cry Wolf, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Waiting, Munich, King Kong, The Aristocrats, Brokeback Mountain, V For Vendetta, Slither, Thank You For Smoking, United 93, The Descent, Little Miss Sunshine, Brick, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Lie With Me, Jackass Number 2, The Ladykillers, The Departed, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Great Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, The Proposition, Casino Royale, Robin Hood, The Fountain, Children of Men, Idiocracy, Smoking Aces, Reno 911: Miami, 300, Black Snake Moan, Blades of Glory, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, Grindhouse, Hot Fuzz, 28 Weeks Later, Ratatouille. Pride and Prejudice, Once, Death at a Funeral, Superbad, 3:10 to Yuma, Severance, Dan in Real Life, Gone Baby Gone, The Price of Milk, The Darjeeling Limited, Southland Tales, No Country For Old Men, Charade, Juno, Charlie Wilson's War, Iron Man, Cloverfield, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, WALL E, Atonement, The Orphanage, Step Brothers, The Dark Knight, Hellboy II, Pineapple Express, Tropic Thunder, Hamlet 2, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Vicky Christina Barcelona, Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, In Bruges, Burn After Reading, Choke, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, Zach and Miri Make a Porno, Let The Right One In, Bear Vs. Shark, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Man On Wire, Gran Torino, Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader, Ed Wood, The Watchmen, Adventureland, I Love You, Man, Lars and the Real Girl, Moonstruck, The Visitor, Vanilla Sky, Loverboy, Up, Drag Me To Hell, Away We Go, Public Enemies, The Hangover, Bruno, Funny People, Harold and Maude, Inglorious Basterds, (500) Days of Summer, Dirty Pretty Things, The Informant!, 9, Whip It, Zombieland, Gigantic, The Road to Wellville, Where the Wild Things Are, Sex Machine, The Brothers Bloom, Paranormal Activity, Sleepaway Camp, May, When A Stranger Calls Back, A Serious Man, The Men Who Stare at Goats, Fantastic Mr Fox, Avatar, Paper Moon,Youth In Revolt, In The Loop, The Wrestler, The Hurt Locker, Crazy Heart, An Education, Gentlemen Broncos, Kiss Ass, Iron Man 2, The Other Guys, Machete, Inception, The King's Speech, Toy Story 3, Black Swan, True Grit, The Social Network, Never Let Me Go + More
Zao, Poison the Well, Norma Jean, Circle Takes the Square, mewithoutYou, The Appleseed Cast, ...and you will know us by the trail of Dead, Unearth, Lovedrug, Nickel Creek, Cursive, Isis, Embodyment, Everytime I Die, Armsbendback, Curl Up and Die, System of a Down, Dillinger Escape Plan, Further Seems Forever, Luti-Kriss, Deftones, Sigur Ros, few.left.standing, King Missile, Richard Cheese, The Bloodhound Gang, Hopesfall, Thrice, the Postal Service, Deathcab For Cutie, TFU, Group X, Mazzy Star, Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer, Weezer, The Mars Volta, The Album Leaf, Tenacious D, Arab on Radar, Racebannon, Comets on Fire, Alison Krauss + Union Station, White Stripes, Flaming Lips, Radiohead, Asobi Seksu, The Out_Circuit, Pinback, !!!, Modest Mouse, The Shins, The New Pornographers, Transistor Transistor, Horse the Band, Tortise, Pelican, Red Sparrows, The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel Tower, Ladytron, Fantomas, Negativland, Dresden Dolls, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Toadies, Animal Collective, M83, Bloc Party, Make Do Say Think, Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, Explosions in the Sky, Yo La Tengo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Mr. Bungle, Snow Patrol, Jolie Holland, Yeah Yeah Yeah's, The Streets, Pretty Girls Make Graves, Saetia, City of Caterpillar, Taken, The Decemberists, The Arcade Fire, Skullflower, Snowden, Your Black Star, Wolf Eyes, The Black Swans, Daughters, Cold War Kids, Xiu Xiu, Indian Jewlery, Ghengis Tron, Pulp, Sia, Joanna Newsom, Miss Violetta Beauregarde, Boris, Murder By Death, Red Animal War, Corrina Repp, The Frames, Rilo Kiley, I Love You But I've Choosen Darkness, Spoon, My Brightest Diamond, Minmae, Grails, Radical Face, The Twilight Sad, Melt-Banana, Graboids, Mineral, Great Northern, Shapes And Sizes, Queens of the Stone Age, School of Seven Bells, Blonde Redhead, Sleep, The One Am Radio, Life At These Speeds, Graf Orlock, Beirut, Pela, Porcupine Tree, Andrew Bird, Funeral Diner, The Dear Hunter, Grinderman, DragonForce, Dethklok, The Gutter Twins, This Will Destroy You, The Jet Age, The Black Keys, Portishead, The Breeders, Viva Voce, Amy Winehouse, Silversun Pickups, Ghostland Observatory, Fleet Foxes, Battle of Mice, Made out of Babies, Flogging Molly, Converge, Chairlift, The National, Greeley Estates, Deerhunter, Black Mountain, The Gaslight Anthem, Gojira, MGMT, Los Campesinos!, Girl Talk, Frightened Rabbit, Beach House, Grizzly Bear, Bon Iver, Kings of Leon, Portugal. The Man, Mogwai, Wolf Parade, Santogold, The Most Serene Republic, Megafaun, Black Star, Aesop Rock, Lightning Bolt, Fucked Up, Monsters of Folk, Starfucker, The Afgan Whigs, Fuck Buttons, Eluvium, Here We Go Magic, Vagina Panther, Born Ruffians, Hercules and Love Affair, The Dead Weather, The xx, Corinne Bailey Rae, P.O.S., Russian Circles, Band of Skulls, Menomena, The Antlers, The Ladies, Deastro, Massive Attack, Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears, Male Bonding, The Joy Formidable, El-P, The Black Heart Procession, Josh Ritter, The Morning Benders, Midlake, American Music Club, Little Dragon, We Were Promised Jetpacks, Mos Def, The Clientele, Infant Sorrow, Freelance Whales, Okkervil River, Crystal Castles, Crooked Still, Janelle Monai, Mumford and Sons, Honorary Title, Devotchka, The Middle East, Cut/Copy, Esben and the Witch, Hardly Art, Bob Geldof, Fang Island, Gauntlet Hair, Hammock, Dum Dum Girls, Sleigh Bells, Four Tet, Cloud Nothings, Building Better Bombs, King Gedorah, Madvillian, St, Vincent, Casbian, Yellow Ostrich, Robyn, The Mynabirds, Infantree+ More
the killer angels, red storm rising, punks war, the great divorce, discworld / hitchhiker series, enders game, blackhawk down, good omens, Co. Aytch, song of solomon, sex drugs and cocoa puffs, killing yourself to live, fargo rock city, cocaine: an unauthorized biography, things my girlfriend and i have argued about, jarhead, generation kill, Stalingrad, the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, storm on the horizion, Imperial Grunts, The Four Loves, War For the Hell of It, Still Life with Woodpecker, Send in the Idiots, The Kid, World War Z, Mating in Captivity, The Little Prince, The Savage Wars of Peace, The Eagle Vs. the Sun, 6 Frigates A Short History of Nearly Everything, The Right Stuff
conan, daily show, invader zim, simpsons, aqua teen hunger force, family guy, south park, space ghost: coast to coast, sunday night sex show, extreme elimination challenge, arrested development, drawn together, Colbert Report, Robot Chicken, The Office, Battlestar Galactica, Rescue Me, Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dead Like Me